Chapter 14: The Lament of Quincy O'Snappers

"What is this?" Mahogany asked the world at large with terror in her voice. Stacy opened her eyes to see that she was back standing in the Blood-Eyed Cat Syndicate's control room. She looked at Quincy, who was staring at her, apparently awestruck. It was then that Stacy looked down at her hands and saw that they were glowing the same golden aura that the pony in the Supreme Golden Realm of Awesomeness had been. Looking behind her, Stacy saw that some kind of magical golden portal leading to what she instinctively knew to be the aforementioned Realm was open, waiting to be fed a dose of Mahogany. Knowing what she had to do was both a wonderful and terrible thing, but her resolve had been set from the get-go, and now it was time.
"Mahogany, you've caused so much pain," Stacy said simply. "I mean, marrying Charles Goomy just to spite your dad is one thing, but then you killed your brother and nephew and had them turned into cyborgs? I mean, aside from being just plain evil, that doesn't even make any sense. I mean really, that's just crazy. Whoever could have thought that one up? You're a sick, sick weirdo, that's what you are. You're the type of person that draws on their dog's face with permanent marker. I'm not just talking about making just eyebrows either, I mean the whole kit 'n kaboodle - the moustache and beard, maybe even a goatee, and all that on top of the dog clothes and accessories you make them wear. What the heck is wrong with you, making your dog look like a man on a New York subway?"
"You dare criticize me!?" Mahogany screamed with indignation, a little bit of spittle dribbling out of her mouth. "I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE OVARIES, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO." And at this, Mahogany charged at Stacy.
"Please, Mahogany," Stacy pleaded, not moving an inch. "Try some remorse just this once..."
"You'll be remorseful when your baby maker gets a taste of my fists; they come in 39 different flavors, and you're about to get a free sample!" Stacy still did not move, letting Mahogany come right at her. Quincy O'Snappers was preparing to step in, when out of nowhere, a golden boxing glove collided right with Mahogany's face, knocking her straight off her feet. Both Quincy and Stacy looked to see who it was, only to see the Golden Pony of Kubla-Kahn adorned in boxing gloves and trunks, standing upright like a human.
"Stacy, it's time," the pony said. "I'll take this trash out myself. You can say goodbye to your friends, but try and hurry, I can't keep the portal opened too long." And at this, the pony grabbed Mahogany by the scruff of her neck and waited for Stacy to say her final farewells.
"Stace, what does he mean by that?" Quincy asked hesitantly.
"Quincy, I'm so sorry, but I have to go," Stacy responded. She couldn't bear to look into Quincy's eyes, and quickly walked over to Lizard Man, who had regained consciousness and was leaning haphazardly against a wall.
"Lizard Man, thank you for everything," Stacy said as she embraced her friend. "You saved my life twice in the past two days, and without you we'd have never dismantled the Blood-Eyed Cat Syndicate."
"No Stacy, thank you. Without you, I never would have had the motivation to leave my sheltered forest life for good." Lizard Man gave Stacy a supportive shoulder grasp, the ultimate sign of brohood, even between woman and beast-man. Stacy then walked over to the portal, still refusing to meet Quincy's eyes.
"Stace..." Quincy O'Snappers said quietly. Stacy stopped dead in her tracks. "I love you. I've always loved you. And I'm sorry that I never said it until now. But after all this craziness with Lizard Man and the Golden Pony of Kubla-Kahn and your insane grandpa and volcano lairs and a freakin' talking bear that collects Pokemon cards...Stacy, you can't leave now." Stacy looked sadly at her beloved best friend.
"Quincy, I have to go. And I'm sorry I never told you that I love you even more than Reese's Peanut Buttercups, more than Skittles, more than S'mores Pop-Tarts, heck, even more than Sour Patch Watermelons. But it's out there now: you're my favorite person in the world, and I love you. And that'll never change, even when you're here and I'm in the Supreme Golden Realm of Awesomeness." At this, Quincy O'Snappers started to let the tears flow.
"Stacy, we must go," the Golden Pony said, still holding on to Mahogany, who was now regaining consciousness. "I can't keep the portal open much longer." Stacy nodded, and then gave Quincy a sad little smile.
"Well Quince, after all this, it looks like we're finally parting ways. Good-bye!" Stacy turned towards the magical portal, hiding her tears, and walked in with the Golden Pony of Kubla-Kahn and Mahogany in tow. Upon their entrance, the portal closed immediately, leaving Quincy O'Snappers and Lizard Man alone.
Lizard Man slowly hobbled his way over to Quincy O'Snappers in an effort to comfort him. Despite his wounds, Lizard Man was still able to walk the distance, albeit a wobbly walk. Indeed, the best way to describe Lizard Man at this moment would be to compare him to a Weeble Wobble. The catchphrase of "Weeble's Wobble but they don't fall down" was infinitely applicable to Lizard Man in these moments, and if it weren't for the sad situation at hand, Quincy O'Snappers would have most assuredly noted this. Alas, at this moment Quincy O'Snappers was numb to everything in the world, his heart a giant tundra of broken ice that was sustaining even more damage every moment because whales were trying to eat the penguins that had taken refuge on the miniature icy summits.
"Quincy, I know what you're feeling right now, and I know it hurts. But there's nothing you can do. She's gone now. She accepted her fate like a true hero."
"What does being a hero matter if you're stuck by yourself for the rest of eternity, though?" Quincy asked sadly. "And it's not like she ever wanted to be a hero, she just wanted the world to be a better place. It's not fair that she won't be able to see the fruits of her labor."
"I know it's not fair," Lizard Man said emphatically. "But sometimes you must have the serenity to accept that which you cannot change, and Stacy's never coming back, no matter how much you or I want her to."
"You're right," Quincy said, closing his eyes in the process. "She can't ever come back. But I can go to her. I'm not ready for her to be gone from my life - I love her with everything I have." After Quincy spoke these words, a faint golden light seemed to be emanate from within his heart and spread to the rest of his body. Lizard Man, usually the typical all knowing wise man, was at a loss for what was happening.
"Thanks for everything Lizard Man. Take good care of grandpa Dustin for us; I'll say 'hi' to Stacy for you." These were the last words Quincy O'Snappers spoke before he disappeared in a flash of light.