"So at last you've arrived," a woman's voice rang out into the darkness of the room. "Charles will be ever so glad to see you." The lights then came on, revealing a large room, full to the brim with computer moniters, switches and levers, hoosiers and watchits. In the center of the room was, Stacy recognized, Mahogany Murray, estranged auntie of her husband Optimus. Next to her was an old fashioned gumball machine, which housed not delicious gum, but a brain with one giant grotesque shut eye.
"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" Mahogany cooed at the brain within the gumball machine. The lone eye slowly fluttered open and took a moment to focus on the scene before it. Upon seeing Stacy and realizing what it meant, the brain of Charles Goomy spoke.
"Ah, so you really have brought me the girl," Charles spoke. "Excellent, most excellent. Have the guards brought in to have them killed. Immediately."
"Well, about that," Mahogany said in her most girlish voice. "These three and their recently deceased bear friend tore through our defenses pretty bad. There's no one left, not even Sasquatch."
"And you just now decided to wake me, after all of this had taken place!?" Charles screamed, the rage tingling throughout the cerebral cortex palpable throughout the room. And then comprehension dawned upon Charles Goomy. "I was right about you; you've been planning to take over the Blood-Eyed Cat Syndicate all this time." Lizard Man, Stacy and Quincy O'Snappers all glanced at one another, confused at the events that were transpiring before their eyes.
"Oh, Charles," Mahogany said with an insane grin quickly spreading across her mouth. "Of course I have. And I must say that if you hadn't had such a forgiving nature, I would have been killed years and years ago. Yes, that would have been the case under a competent leader, unlike yourself. Anyway, it's time to show you the real reason I woke you up." At the end of her soliloquy, Mahogany pressed one of the many buttons strewn on a nearby, conveniently placed control panel. Two holes then opened up near the spot where Mahogany and the gumball machine encasing the brain of Charles Goomy stood. Platforms then rose out of these holes, each carrying a figure atop. Stacy and Quincy both let out a gasp at the sight of these two figures, recognition on both their faces - Voltron and Optimus Murray, father and son, were facing them, their eyes strangely devoid of life.
"I was told these two were dead..." Charles Goomy said, his voice actually full of fear now.
"And dead they are," Mahogany responded. "But there's one itsy bitsy detail that was left out of that report. Namely, that their bodies have been turned into cyborgs now. Cyborgs who are programmed to obey only I, naturally." Mahogany turned to the Voltron cyborg. "Dear brother, do me a favor and get rid of this old gumball machine." Voltron came to life instantaneously, grabbing the gumball machine and wrenching it from its foundations.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance!" Charles Goomy moaned.
"Indeed, my beloved Charles. But mercy is an invitation for death. A lesson, it seems, you never learned, even after my father and brother jumped upon your moment of hesitation and confined you to a life without a body." The Voltron cyborg then broke open the bulletproof glass casing of the gumball machine, letting the brain fall and plop pitifully on to the ground. Charles Goomy's lone eye slowly turned its gaze upon Stacy.
"Golden Pony...use it...destroy her...please..." And with these last words, Charles Goomy's eye clouded over and closed, never to open again.
"Well, now that that unpleasant business is over and done with, how about we finish this off once and for all?" Mahogany asked the remaining three pleasantly. Before a response could be given, Mahogany made the first move. "Voltron and Optimus cyborgs - join together to make your ultimate form!" The two cyborgs gave no hesitation, and jumped into action. They ran to opposite sides of the room, turned around to face one another, and then began to charge. Nanoseconds before they collided, there was a blinding light. After a few moments of nigh unbearable brightness, the light dissipated, in its place the sweetest motorcycle ever. Mahogany walked calmly over to the bike and sat upon it.
"Yes, I have a dope ride, yo," she said, looking directly into Stacy's eyes. "I call it the Murrcycle. Do you like the use I've put your husband and father-in-law to? They're of much more use to everyone now, wouldn't you agree?" Stacy squeezed her hand tightly against Quincy's, looking for some kind of comfort for the horror that lay in front of her. Mahogany then revved the aptly named Murrcycle, preparing for her attack.
"Well, any plans for this one?" Stacy asked in a wavering voice, her hand still clutching Quincy's.
"I'll have to fight it head on," Lizard Man said simply. "By the looks of it I don't stand much of a chance, but I'll have to hold her off while you two can figure something out." Before any objections could be given, Mahogany shot directly at the group in the Murrcycle. It came with such force and speed that Lizard Man was only barely able to catch and hold the front tire, and even then it took all of his might to hold it in place. Quincy O'Snappers held on to Stacy's hand and hurried out of the way of the ensuing battle.
"Ho ho, so the freak thinks he can hold me?" Mahogany asked with a maniacal laugh. "Then take this!" She then pulled a cattle prod out of nowhere while Lizard Man was desperately grasping the Murrcycle and touched it to his face, sending torrent after torrent of electricity to Lizard Man's body. Lizard Man, however, refused to give Mahogany the satisfaction of making him scream. The refusal of one of her sadistic pleasures just made Mahogany more sadistic, thus making her press a button on the Murrcycle that shot flames out of the front right on to Lizard Man's flesh.
"He can't keep this up, Quince..." Stacy cried. "Isn't there something we can do?"
"Oh what a night..." was all Quincy O'Snappers could respond. After muttering this useless statement, something triggered in Quincy's mind, and he kept speaking. "Late December back in '63. What a very special night for me, 'cause I remember what a night..." And then Quincy had a wonderful epiphany, realizing exactly what to do. He ran over to the nearby control panel that Mahogany had used to summon the cyborg duo, looking for what he knew was there last chance. Stacy had followed Quincy over, having no clue what was happening.
"Quince, what-" Before she could finish her sentence, Lizard Man finally let out a howl of pain.
"Yes, that'll do it," Mahogany triumphantly declared. "Now you can die." She then looked over and saw Stacy and Quincy standing at the control panel. "GET AWAY FROM THERE YOU SWINE!" she yelled. It was at this moment that Quincy had finally found what he was looking for. He took the CD he had burned earlier out of his pocket, and hurridly jammed it into the CD player situated on the control panel. September by Earth, Wind & Fire then began to jam throughout the entire room. Almost instantly, the Murrcycle started to shake, and then exploded, with Mahogany barely having enough time to jump off, leaving Lizard Man lying unconscious on the ground.
"No matter, no matter," Mahogany panted in lieu of her near death experience. "Without Lizard Man here, you two are finished. And for touching my control panel, I guess you get to go first, bucko." She then took an extendable whiffle ball bat out of her pocket, and threw it straight at Quincy O'Snappers' face. Before Stacy could think, she jumped in front of the oncoming bat, taking the hit full on in the kisser. Everything became gold, and Stacy was sure she was dead.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
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